Music Speaks, Music Heals

It's been ten days since the world lost Chester Bennington, yes I'm still talking about it because I'm still thinking about it. I can't seem to get it off my mind.   That man saved me, his music saved me. I still feel like I'm in a tunnel or underwater, but...I'm getting there, because I have to.  I have to believe  his loss will save someone, will keep them fighting because he lost his battle with depression... as the band said in their statement, they always knew his demons were part of the deal and so many of us deal with those, don't we?


I have tried listening to Linkin Park since this tragedy, and some songs I can handle, and some I can't...I had already had a hard time listening to One More Light  I don't know if I ever can again, which, in a way it reminds me of when Prince died just over a year ago....I still can't handle hearing Little Red Corvette the first song I ever loved by him when I was just a tiny, little girl.


A few songs are getting me through this, most notably Bush's songs Sound of Winter and The Only Way Out Is Through. There is something absolutely calming about Gavin Rossdale  maybe it's just his genuineness  or the positivity he shows in his interactions with fans.

 That song then lead to listening to Shinedown and their song How Did You Love.  That song gives me goosebumps, but it's also a reminder that we have to love people for who and what they are. At least that's what I get out of it. At the end of your life, how did you love? Did you love people for their scars and their battles or were we judge and jury for people's mistakes?

 This then lead me to True Colors by Cyndi Lauper  which is always a reminder to be YOU. Be the person you're meant to be and it's okay.  I remember playing this song over and over when my son was being bullied...reminding him that who he was, was okay, and that if people couldn't see his true colors, it was their loss......I can't say it's getting easier, but music heals, and it will get better....tomorrow is a new day, and I want to live my life and see what the future brings.

Words Fail....

Never in a million years, did I believe I'd write this post...and certainly not as my first "real" one. Yesterday my world  shattered, my musical world that is.  Yesterday morning, Chester Bennington  died. Those words destroy a piece of me to type.  The worst is that it was by his own hand.


Honestly....   I had an entirely different post planned about the band, that I was working on when the news came down.  One day I will be ready to get back to that post. Instead,  let me take you on a little trip through the years since my introduction to them:


My husband fell in love with Linkin Park, long before I did....but when I did, I fell hard. This band has been saying the words I couldn't in so many situations. They were there with "One Step Closer" when I was angry....in a way "Leave Out All The Rest" was a love song in a sense between my husband and I after a dream he had about me when he first heard it ..they were there with "Shadow of the Day" when I suffered a pregnancy loss I didn't know if I could come back from.


Their most recent album, "One More Light" has been a constant, since it's release because I've been fighting depression and anxiety, tones of which are prevalent on the album....It boils down to, when I need to feel, I turn to Linkin Park.....many of us fans did.


 The one sentiment I have seen over and over again the last 24-hours is how we wish we could have saved him...the way his music speaking saved us.

Why does music speak when words fail?

One of my first memories as a young child relates to music. I can't sing, or play an instrument, but music has been my life for literally as far back as I can remember.  I'm the girl that remembers most songs from the first note, and who relates more songs to memories  than I can count. I'm the mother that played music for my babies before they were born.  From Louis Armstrong to Linkin Park, there is not a day that music is not part of my life.

The word "music" conjures up different ideas to different people.  From being sung at birthdays, to Christmas music, to the chills you get when that song comes on.  Music is passion, and regret, anger, and fear all rolled into one.  It can be your friend when you're lonely. It can be your enemy when that lyric comes on that makes your heart feel like it has shattered into a million pieces When you need to express how you feel, and can't find your own words, there are songs in droves that can say exactly what you want others to know. 

In short, this blog sets out to share my love of music, the songs that speak to me, and for me.  You'll find music reviews, music rants, and maybe you'll find some song you haven't heard of, that you will fall in love with the way I have.